What the Heck?

I’m annoyed so I’m going to whine at you all for a bit. You can imagine this in a whiny little brat voice if you’d like.

Why can’t the things I plan go the way I want them to go? I had plans to go to a Pagan get-together this Saturday for well over a month but it’s Memorial Day weekend and everyone’s going on vacation so I’m stuck watching someone else’s dogs while they spend their time on vacation. The other two people who could/should be doing this are also going out of town. This means the task falls on me.

Why can’t I have one day a month work out so I can go to these things. Everyone else wants to go to church EVERY Sunday. All I ask for is to get a chance to go to “church” once a month. If it’s not Fal not having the day off (stupid retail) it’s someone forcing their responsibilities on me. You know what, whatever. I’ll just do it…

*In a much happier tone*

And now just I got a text saying that someone else can do it. Yay, all I have to do is complain and things work out. That’s the second time in this fiasco that something like this has happened. If I ever do dogsit for these people again  I’m going to make sure things are MUCH more planned out. This isn’t very good on my anxiety.

*sighs* My anxiety in the most frustrating part of my mental illness. It’s the one part that I can’t seem to get under control no matter how hard I try. I wish I knew where to turn for help. I’ve tried all sorts of anti-anxiety head meds and they all make me feel so bad that I’d just as soon just have an anxiety attack than take them. I’ve tried marijuana (Indica) and it helps but makes me a strange mix of OCD, hyper, and spacey. I don’t know why either. Indica is supposed to calm you down not make you hyper. I wish I could just understand my strange brain for once.

Anyway, this has just become a mixed mental dump so I’ll say farewell for now. If you’re still reading this thanks you a moment of you time.